Post by princessbaybay on May 17, 2007 8:56:01 GMT -5
But I got them by email this morning and some of them made me laugh...
_____________________________________________________
GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids'
names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your
face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as
long as you don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber
today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the
parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!
THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEKEND:
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our
life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and
start all over?
Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all
fall off.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never
would have started with something called labor!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells
live forever.
But Most Of All, Remember .
A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find,
Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your
Heart!
=================
PONDERISMS:
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned
that most people die of natural causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure
you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is
to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily,
it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive
anyway.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder
these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they
used to?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac
to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest
fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and
drink whatever comes out?"
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there
a song about him?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get
undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
Soup?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email
address?
_____________________________________________________
GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids'
names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your
face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as
long as you don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber
today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the
parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!
THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEKEND:
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our
life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and
start all over?
Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all
fall off.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never
would have started with something called labor!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells
live forever.
But Most Of All, Remember .
A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find,
Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your
Heart!
=================
PONDERISMS:
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned
that most people die of natural causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure
you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is
to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily,
it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive
anyway.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder
these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they
used to?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac
to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest
fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and
drink whatever comes out?"
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there
a song about him?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get
undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
Soup?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email
address?
It could be her roommates.