Looking a gift horse in the mouth

[mopnglo]

Okay I need some help on a situation that arose as of late in my household.

My BIL bought a Mule with the agreement he could keep her out here and we would take care of her. He would buy feed, pay for her vaccinations, etc. About 8 months later he decided he couldn't afford to do this and gave her to us for a Christmas present. We had actually started paying for her feed, etc. before he gave her to us to help him out. After he gave her to us, we started breaking her as she was green and young. We've feed and took care of her everyday, had her vaccinations regularly, and are in the process of breaking her, at this point she is just green broke. We have 3 other mules, so it wasn't a problem taking care of another. Now he decides he wants her back. We don't want to give her back, not only have we invested a lot of time and money, but we've become very attached to her.

So what's the right thing to do? Keep her or give her back?

[unk]

Had a lady friend one time who raised and sold mules. She passed out a business card that said she was the only person with a license to sell as$ in the state of Texas.

[itsmyopinion]

To keep harmony in the family, give her back and tell him that he has to remove her from your property. Chock this one up as a lesson learned.

[princessbaybay]

That is a tough one mop.... but I am inclined to go with IMO on this one with the addition of...charge him for every penny you have put into the mule...and when he can pay that and remove it from your property he can have it back...

He has a lot of nerve....

;D Want me to go talk to him? Not only will he let you keep the mule...he'll agree to not be your BIL anymore and even pay for a replacement!

[phantom]

That was a gift. He is a pretty crass person to do this to you. Why do you want to keep peace with him? He will just use you again.

[mopnglo]

This situation is kind of a doubled edged sword for us. We do want to keep peace, but I'm not too sure that is going to happen if we don't give her back. Mainly we just want to do the right thing.

I honestly don't want to give her back, and it wouldn't be any skin off my back if my BIL never spoke to me again. Most of my in-laws quit talking to me when they learned I'll speak my mind. But my husband would be very upset. I treat my mules like most would treat their dogs or cats. I spoil them and spend every day, cold or hot with them, so giving one up would be like giving my kids up.

Our family has always used us, so we are use to that. It seems if you're the stable ones, then they think you owe them something because they are not.

This BIL isn't too bad, he just needs a good woman to straighten him out. Baybay, you single? He's pretty cute, you'd just have 38 years of undoing what his mom screwed up, but I think he's trainable.

Unk, I love the selling ass thing. I've got to remember that. We've got a sign in the barn that says, "Put your ass on some class, ride a Mule".

Thanks all for the input!

[rena]

I think he gave it to you as a gift and I would not let him have it back. If it causes hard feelings, oh well. Hard feelings will be there either way. So since you have invested time and money, I would keep it.....I cannot stand Indian givers....

[terrye]

I say keep the mule. BIL needs to grow up and learn that a gift is a gift. Animals need food, vet care, shelter and training all day, every day. You provided all of that. For him to now want the mule back is childish. Tell him to buy another mule and keep it somewhere else. I understand the keeping peace in the family thing, but it sounds like BIL has always done things like this and everyone else catered to him. Maybe for once, someone needs to stand up for what's right and not what he wants.

[unk]

Let him have it back. Who wants a stubborn ole mule anyway. Takes a 2X4 to even get their attention.

[mopnglo]

unk said:

Let him have it back. Who wants a stubborn ole mule anyway. Takes a 2X4 to even get their attention.

Ahh Unk, I bet your wife wouldn't trade you in and I think she's said the same about you.

[princessbaybay]

mopnglo said:

This BIL isn't too bad, he just needs a good woman to straighten him out. Baybay, you single? He's pretty cute, you'd just have 38 years of undoing what his mom screwed up, but I think he's trainable.

mop, thanks for considering me for the position of whipping your brother into shape... but like unk says it takes a 2x4 and I am getting too old to keep swinging a 2x4.

And the whole mother issues??? OMG! Lets just say I want a different set of issues with my next future ex-husband. ;D

[joe]

Keep the mule. He gave it to you.

[time2fly]

How is it going to keep the peace if you give the mule back? Your feelings count here as well and giving it back will cause some resentment on your part. And I wouldn't blame you for harboring some resentment on this issue!

[catsmeow]

You can either keep her because she truly was a gift ... or, if he wants her back that badly, tell him he can buy her back --- for the amount of money you have spent on her.

Truthfully, though, the mule is yours, plain and simple, and if you are attached to her, then no amount of money is going to be worth selling her for. Let this just serve as a lesson to your BIL.

Then, in the future, maybe you all can give HIM a mule for Christmas. A different mule, of course.

[itsmyopinion]

I know that these arent mules but they are 2 of my jennies. We have a paint stud jack and this was the only paint colt we got, out of 4 jennies bred. We use jennies for preditor control.